This is Most Illogical
by mythogeek
Summary: Bones introduces Jim and Spock to fan fiction what are there reactions and will it make them look at each other differently. Heck lets through some BonesxScotty in too just for fun. Adopted from GeekOfAwesome. rated T for swearing and because I'm paranoid.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello I didn't write this chapter GeekOfAwesome did I adopted this story from her**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek**

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Kirk walked down the hall, his eyebrows furrowed. Bones had called him to the conference room on urgent business, and it really worried him. Yes, Bones complained a LOT, but he probably wouldn't summon the captain under false pretenses. He walked through the automatic doors to where Bones was sitting next to a computer.

"Jim, this is so weird. I found this website..." He began. "Really? You called me here because of the Internet?" Kirk asked. Bones shrugged. "Alright." The Captain decided and sat down next to the doctor. "Oh, also, I called down Spock. He needs to see this!"

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When the three were together, Bones showed them a site called "Fanfiction"

"See, here, people know about the Enterprise and the crew and everything, and they write stories that are based on our adventures. Creepy, right?" He explained.

"Woah. Try searching... 'Kirk'," Jim suggested. Spock remained stoic, analyzing everything Bones was doing.

"Those are a lot of results, man. I'll try to narrow them down... English language, Star Trek... Jim, try picking a genre."

"Well, the most popular is 'romance'... awkward, but try it."

"Okay. What about a rating? Kind of like R or PG-13, I guess."

"I'm scared, but let's go with T, which I'm guessing stands for Teen."

"Most likely, captain." Spock agreed, studying each summary.

"What's slash? And drabble?" Kirk asked

"What is 'Spirk'," Spock asked. "It sounds like a combo of our names."

"Ssh, I found a good story."

"What's the summary?"

"I'm not telling. It's too weird. Just let me start, dammit." Bones said.

Spock leaned forward curiously as Bones began reading in a clear voice...

_"It took several moments for Jim's brain to catch up. What he was seeing just didn't seem possible. But it had to have been. Because he was seeing it. The proof was right there. Unless this was some drug induced hallucination. Okay, maybe not necessarily drug induced. Either way, this image before him was rather nice. If the restrictive feeling in his pants was any indication."_

_"Captain?"_

"Restrictive feeling?" Spock inquired, blushing a light green.

"Please, please, be a hot girl." Kirk joked, leaning back.

_"Jim's eyes immediately flicked up, meeting Spock's. The Vulcan had a brow quirked. Jim opened his mouth to respond; nothing came out. He cleared his throat and tried again."_

"WHAT?!" Kirk said, hysterical. Spock turned totally green and Bones doubled over in laughter.

_"_

_"Spock…what are you doing?"_

_"I have been waiting for you to return to your quarters."_

_Jim was silent for a moment. "Why?"_

_"Because anywhere else would be illogical."_

_"No, what I mean is…why are you wearing leather pants?"_

_"Ah. I was under the impression you would appreciate it. Have I come to the incorrect conclusion?"_

Bones read between bursts of laughter, with Kirk and Spock blushing immensely. "Leather pants!" Bones managed to say after another fit of laughter.

_"Jim was quiet again as he looked Spock over. Really the only thing different were the pants. The black undershirt and boots were the same. It was just Spock was wearing tight ass leather pants._

_Jim grinned. "No, I like it very much," he said, wonderful ideas coming to mind.. Said thoughts increased in rating as Spock closed the distance between them, a smirk tugging at his lips._

_"Good." And then he just kept on walking past his captain, not even looking back._

_Jim blinked and, realizing what had just happened, growled and turned, hanging out of the doorway to glare at Spock's retreating back. "Cock tease!" He eeped, hearing Spock's low laugh."_

There was a moment of silence afterwards. Bones laughed again. "Wow... umm..." Kirk said awkwardly. "I do not believe you will ever see me the same way after this, Captain." Spock said, still blushing.

"Alright, Bones, shut up. My turn."

Kirk took the computer, typing several things into the search bar.

He grinned and started reading.

_"So Bones, how long has it been? Three, four, years since your divorce?" he asked point blank and Bones sighed heavily like he was just reminded of what he had run from so long ago._

_"Five." He replied shortly and downed another shot._

_"So, anyone interesting to you?" he asked and Bones studied him closely for a moment before shaking his head._

_"Nah." He replied blandly and Jim rose an eyebrow._

_"Cause come on, it's been a long time now and it must be getting lonely for you? we've been in space for what, two years now." Jim replied drinking his drink feigning nonchalance._

_Bones grunted noncommittally and since he hadn't outright denied it Kirk knew he had touched a soft spot._

_"What's your type bones? Gingers? You like a good thick accent?" Jim asked and Bones glared back at him and his teasing face._

_"What are you getting at?" he asked deeply and Jim grinned._

The real Jim grinned as well as he read the next line.

_"Mr. Scott, he looked nice today didn't he?" Jim asked and sipped his drink._

_Bones glared at him and momentarily thought he was being teased for his newfound sexuality, a long time in space can change a man._

_"Newfound sexuality? Interesting..." Jim laughed. Even Spock upturned the sides of his mouth a bit. Bones scowled._

_"Bones. I'm simply interested in your happiness. You should ask him out!" he replied and Bones scoffed and downed another shot of whisky, he hissed as it rolled down his throat and he shook his head._

_"Even if I did like him, which I don't, it doesn't mean he'll say yes." He replied and stood up. "I'm going to bed." he added and left before Jim could reply. He sighed loudly and decided maybe it was time to take things into his own hands._

Spock coughed, trying to hide a grin.

_"It took quite a bit of convincing but Jim finally got Bones to agree to the blind date, he wasn't sure if it was the fact he had nagged him enough to accomplish his goals or if it had something to do with Bones' secret desires to not be alone anymore._

_Jim helped him pick out an outfit since he was going to go wearing his uniform and Jim thought that simply wasn't acceptable._

_After picking out a suit and Bones rambling on about how he's not sure how Kirk gets him into these shenanigans they arrived at the mess hall ten minutes late, Jim pushing Bones down the hallway with both hands against his back._

_"Stop resisting, he's going to see you and get his feelings hurt." Jim scolded and Bones finally quit and started acting like an adult for the first time since his shift ended._

_"So it is a him." He replied and straightened his charcoal grey suit jacket, still feeling way overdressed._

_"He's at table seven, go ahead in I'll be in the back alright." Jim said as the doors swished open._

_"I'm not a baby ya know?" he said back harshly and made his way inside, he scanned the room for his date at table seven and could barely see through the other occupants._

_Bones made his way to the back and his breath hitched when he saw him, Scotty sitting by himself, he left his little alien buddy in engineering thank goodness and he was wearing a yellow button up shirt with a jacket._

_Bones sighed relieved he was glad he had a jacket on so he didn't feel ridiculously overdressed._

_Bones approached the table and just registered he was feeling a little nervous, it had been a long time._

_Scotty looked up at him..._

At this moment, Bones yanked away the computer. "Alright, alright, Leather Pants, you can stop now. All I'm saying is that this is kinda scary."

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**Author's Note: Ok from this point on I wrote this story unless stated otherwise. Mythogeek out.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello this is my first chapter as me. On with it then.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek and I adopted this story from GeekOfAwesome.**

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Kirk kept trying to justify it to himself, he just wondered how others perceived them nothing more but it wasn't true and he needed to face the facts he had become addicted to Spirk fan fiction. Furthermore it took all the restraint he had not to, as he had learnt it was called, ship it. It's not normal to ship yourself with your First Officer, is it?

"Captain are you alright?" Spock asked. Again it had distracted him and he had spaced out while on duty, clearly this was becoming a serious problem.

"I'm fine, just a little distracted." I responded.

"Captain if we could meet for lunch in my quarters, there is a rather pressing matter I wish to discus?" Spock asked. Oh Shit he had noticed my string and was no doubt going to request a transfer so he never had to see me again.

I sighed in despair but responded, " of course Spock, no problem" I resolved to savor what little time we had left together. Yes, it's time to face the facts, I'm in love with my First Officer, Spock.

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**(Lunch, Spock's POV)**

I paced my quarter anxiously. Perhaps this was not the correct course of action I wondered. No it's only logical I must follow through. Just then my T'hy'la arrived. I granted my Captain entrance to my quarters.

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**(Bones's office, Bones's POV)**

I hadn't been able to so much as look Scotty in the eye since Jim had read aloud the fan fiction about us. Not that it had mattered, yet but I knew with a lurking sense of dread that I would not be able to avoid him forever, as he was the head of engineering it would only be so long before he got hurt again and turned up in my office. so it was no great surprise when a rather annoyed Scotty came prancing into my office clutching a towel over his left arm.

I sighed, "What did you do this time?" I asked him as he hopped up onto the nearest bio-bed.

"Well you see I was minding my own business checking over the engines as usual when, out of nowhere a Kiddet dropped a spare pipe on me, it only grazed my arm though." he proffered his arm and I pulled the towel off to find a gash going from the inside of his elbow to his wrist.

"It's not too bad" I remarked as I cleaned it up and bandaged it.

"Thanks Doc" he said hopping off the bed, "if you're free some of the crew are meeting for poker and drinks tonight you're more than welcome." he offered

"I'll be there" I responded reflexively.

"Great see you then." he replied before leaving. I sighed I had to admit that his accent was quite charming.

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**Author's Note: Sorry I know it's short but it felt like a good place to stop. Anyway tell me what you think.I'll be updating as fast as I can but I might be getting a summer job soon and maybe doing some volunteer work so I don't know how much time I'll have. Mythogeek out.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: OK wow this is the best response I've ever gotten to one of my stories thank you all so much.**

******Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek and I adopted this story from GeekOfAwesome.**

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I knocked quietly on my First Officer's door. "Come in" came the immediate reply.

"Hi Spock." I greeted him awkwardly. Oh, God this was going to be even worse than I thought.

"Hello Captain"

"You can just call me Jim when were off duty."

"Very well Jim have a seat we shall eat and then discuss the pressing matter that i called you here for." he said always formal. I had a seat and had to stop myself from wondering if he was formal in all settings and positions. No stop he's your First Officer. We sat and ate the meal went by in silence and I managed to mostly keep my thoughts pure, mostly.

"Jim I feel I must request a transfer." Damn it I knew it, I drove him away.

I sighed, "May I inquire as to why you are requesting a transfer?" I asked, might as well dig myself a deeper grave.

Spock turned a little green. "Jim, I am ashamed to admit that as of late I have had more than a few...less than professional thought about you and have even come to the conclusion that it is more than likely that you are my T'hy'la and I feared that this would become a problem with our work." He stated now a very pleasant shade of green. Wait! What! That was definitely not what I had been expecting.

"Wait, what you're saying is that you like me?" I asked not quite daring to hope that I understood correctly.

"Exactly Captain, I love you and I know that it is not professional and-"

"I love you too Spock" I said abruptly cutting him off. Was he actually starting t ramble I didn't know Vulcans did that.

"Captain it's not-" I cut him off again deciding that what he had said earlier was more than enough permission. So this time I stretched across the table and put my lips over his. At first he was so stunned he was unresponsive but just as I was going to pull away he kissed me back with a raging passion. If I thought I had felt/done it all I was wrong. Kissing Spock was a whole different experience, there was so much passion, desire, love and lust. I wasn't quite sure how it happened but we were pressed up against the wall now. We finally pulled apart gasping for air.

"You're not as smart as I thought you were if you think I'm going to let you go that easy" I whispered in his ear.

"Very well Jim I did not realize that the feelings were mutual."

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**(Bones's quarters after the poker game, Bones POV)**

Stupid, stupid, stupid. I should have known better than to have so much to drink. I always become loose lipped when drunk. I was so stupid I had confessed to Scotty and I had been so drunk I couldn't even remember what his reaction was. Ugh, sometimes I hate myself. I decided to message Jim I needed someone to talk to. When I hadn't gotten a response within an hour I decided to go find him myself. Not my best idea but hey in my defense I was still pretty drunk. When I got to his quarters and found nothing I was about to leave when I decided to check to see if Spock knew where he was they were pretty close weren't they. I went to Spock's rooms and knocked when I got no response I used my medical override to get in. I didn't see them until I actually stepped into the room but as soon as I did you can bet I rushed getting out of there. That was something I could have lived a long time without seeing. don't judge seriously how would you react to walking in on your best friend/Captain making out with his First Officer.

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**Author's Note: Yay, chapter 3! Tell me what you think. Mythogeek out.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: OK wow all these people I just can't I mean just wow. Thank you guys so much. But now I'm going to ask you a favor could you review or just send me a pm and tell me what it is about this story that you like, I want to know what I'm doing right.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek and I adopted this story from GeekOfAwesome.**

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"I don't get it" I asked him after our little make-out session.

"What is it you don't understand" Spock answered.

"If you liked me why did you want a transfer?" I asked still confused.

"I feared it would interfere with my work as I was constantly distracted whenever you were present." Spock replied.

"Really" I asked relieved to realize that I wasn't the only one who got distracted.

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**(Bones's office, Bones POV)**

Oh no. What do I do. Shit, shit, shit. The cause of my panic was of course the fact that a certain Scottish was in my sick-bay. What is he doing here, what do I do.

"Bones, I know you're in here" he said knocking on my office door. Shit, shit, shit.

"Bones I'm not kidding, let me in we need to talk." He said.

"Fine, come in" I said giving up and opening the door.

"Bones-"

"No, please spare me the humiliation and just leave" I said grumpy as ever.

"Bones-"

"No stop don't-" it was me getting cut off this time but it was by a kiss. I gasped shocked which he took full advantage of.

When we finally broke apart he said, "I was going to tell you I feel the same, you stubborn idiot."

I just smiled like the idiot we both knew I am

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**Author's Note: So I'm thinking about having one last chapter. I didn't intend to make this story so short that's just the way it happened. So tell me what you think and if you have ideas for things to change or to happen before I end this tell me. Mythogeek out.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Last chapter wow exiting**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek and I adopted this beautiful baby from ****GeekOfAwesome**

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**(Approximately One Year Later)**

"Will you two stop fidgeting already you look fine, both of you" Complained a very annoyed Nyota.

"What if-" I started.

"Enough Jim" came another annoyed voice this time Sulu.

"But-" Bones tried.

"Don't even start Leonard the captain is bad enough we can't have you both freaking out on us." called the always cheerful Pavel.

"What about-" Bones and I said at the same time.

"No!" they all responded in unison clearly fed up with our quote "Need worries"

"Stop worrying, a wedding is a time for happiness enjoy it this will be the best day of your life, don't waste it worrying" Pavel said always the optimist.

"I think we have a right to worry on our wedding day" I replied indignantly.

"Oh God why did I agree to a double wedding with you of all people" Bones complained.

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That's right we were both getting married at last. Me to Spock and Bones to Scotty. I remembered all the fun and adventures we had, had in the past year. Of course Spock and Scotty had planned it when they proposed to us. We were on a double date visiting a colony world that was similar to Earth. I remembered fondly my and Bones confusion when they stood up simultaneously. Bones panicked at first but we got him to accept when we convinced him it wouldn't end the same way his first marriage had.

"Snap out of it Jim it's time to get moving" Nyota snapped at me.

The door in front of us opened and Bones and I entered the bridge. If I had cared to look I would have seen the extravagant decorations or the huge cake, I might have seen the smiling faces of my crew, I might have seen how Bones only had eyes for Scotty, but I saw none of it because like Bones I had eyes for only one, Spock, my spock.

I was in a love induced haze though most of the ceremony and barely managed to stutter out my I do. And then we were married and before you ask the honeymoon was perfect.

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**Author's Note: OMG I'm gonna cry my first completed fanfic I grew up so fast. I can't handle the perfect. I'm thinking about making a sequel sometime in the future about their honeymoon and their lives together but instead of from Mostly Jim and Bones's POVs I would do Spock and Scotty not sure though so tell me what you think. Mythogeek out.**


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